Is Ambition A Dirty Word?


‘This Week In Bloc Dev Bootcamp’ series will resume in 2 weeks. In the meantime…

I recently watched a PeriscopeCast that spoke about the things ambitious people give up to reach their goals and it floored me.  Mainly because I am only a recent grad of the school of ambition and also because ALL of the talking points have happened to me in this journey.

As I have gone on this incredible road of midlife career switch I have felt alone a lot. I am forced to say no to dates, no to friends and family outings and generally have become a pariah in my circle of friends as the “She is WAY too busy for us”, horrible friend.

It’s two-fold. Yes, we are all busy all the time, including me, and NO, I am not brushing you off, I really want to be there with you, but I also want to finish fixing this bug because I am on a roll.

Let me make something very, very, very clear. I miss and love my peeps so much! It is torture to have to respond back to invites with a no or “maybe” <- I rarely do maybe cos I loathe flakes.  I feel a polite decline of an invite is way better if you are then able to show up.  A “maybe I’ll be there”, sounds to me like a way selfish “Maybe I’ll grace you with my presence.”

I had one really good friend tell me, after the 100th time of them asking me to join an event and me declining due to busy factor “yeah, I get it, we are all busy” which made me think to myself, am I coming off some certain way that makes people think that I think my busy is more important than their busy?

Then of course,  I thought to myself, I really don’t have time to worry about everyone else and their feels, that’s what got me here in the first place, and by here I mean late bloomer in finally finding my passion. It is what it is and I can be grateful for the fact that people still even ask me to do things.
Just as I was about to compose my epitaph “Here lies Patricia, who died with no friends cos she was too busy” one of those friends of mine told me that what I am doing inspires her, and she has respect for me as I ambitiously check off goals on my list. At that point, everything changed. I am doing this weird thing so I can work with smart, creative people on projects that make human lives better. BUT, I also forget sometimes, that what I am doing may help others like me swallow their fear and give the middle finger to nay sayers and do it too! SO there’s that, right?
I know all of you are on my side, and if any of you think all of what I am doing is for nothing, here’s a story. I remember 2 years ago landing my first interview for my new career. Just landing the interview I felt like I won an Oscar, I was composing my Thank you speech and picking out my “Oscar” dress <- read Skype top.
I got on the video and the interviewer asked me , “So what technologies do you use in the backend”,
me: WordPress!,
Interviewer: riggght, um but what do you use to build your architecture for your websites?
me: WordPress, and index.php
Interviewer: Ok, and what do you use in the front-end
me: wordpress?
Interviewer: Um, ok.
me: Is this a senior role
Interviewer: we are open to all levels of programmers
me: WORDPRESS YAY!!! **
interviewer: I really love your passion, right now we would like to keep you in mind for other roles. We need a Sr. Software Engineer for this Sr. Software Engineering role you are interviewing for that has about 3 years experience. Keep up the good work! Thank you.
me: hello? I love WordPress.I am happy to say, that was the first and last time I ever had an interview like that, and now, I answer those questions with confidence as well as show my technical prowess in realtime on a whiteboard when I interview. So this has not been all for naught friends, I SWEAR!
**Note: there is nothing wrong with being an excellent WordPress software engineer at all, but you will need to know the programming language it is built on (php) and how to nav the FTP client and other super important things regarding CMS’s.

 

 

 

 

So anyway, if I have any friends, left after this journey, I just want to tell you thank you. Thank you so much for letting me do this and not deserting me. It will all make sense when I can start saying yes again cos I found the career and role of my dreams.

 

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