WARNING: The following post will be full of inspirational memes. Embrace it
Let’s talk about struggle. This week has been one of those weeks where everything went apeshit, batshit, unfortunate crazy. I usually handle these things well cos they only last a few days at most and I can use my mind powers to move myself forward in these situations, but this just wasn’t happening, and the few days went ALL week. This was supposed to be my last week of Foundations in Rails and my transition into the Front End course work but…
It started with a health issue, then a job interview that got cancelled because another candidate accepted the offer, then the absolute worst thing in my eyes- I made the hard decision to take more time in my program to grasp some of the concepts, and went to a part time schedule, temporarily. Since Bloc IS my job right now, this felt like the equivalent of being put on probation. I know that is just my perception and NO ONE actually said this to me, but I felt like a complete failure and all of my old habits of guilt, not feeling good enough, imposter syndrome and giving up came back and that was no bueno.
I’m blogging about this with no filter because I think it is important for anyone who is taking risks and going through a career transition to stay on the road of doing something that you are passionate about without letting the naysayers get to you. It’s important to talk about struggle, but more important to discuss what you do to overcome it.
Although I have the power to use my own mind to turn my frown upside down, or think about things I am grateful for when I am full of negative thoughts, or as my life coach just told me, “get shit done whether you want to or not”, sometimes this just doesn’t pan out, and I am here to let you know that this is OK.
Steps To Overcome The Struggle
- Forgive Yourself Always and Often
It sounds simple but I learned this lesson by talking about it with my best friend from high school. She has struggled with divorce and dealing with a relentless ex. I said to her, instead of focusing on how this person is making life hard for you and your kids, forgive yourself for picking him in the first place.
- Start Writing 10 Things You Are Grateful For (keep writing until you feel better)
I was told to do this exercise by my patient and wise life coach. I wrote 10 things, then 10 more then 10 more and I still felt like shit. I wrote her back and said, I’m writing stuff like I’m grateful for my young looking skin, and it feels forced. Her comment to me, “you obviously aren’t grateful yet, keep writing.” When I finally felt better I had written 63 things I was grateful for. I look at this list and add to it everytime I feel like I do today. It helps, I promise.
- Ignore That Voice In Your Head That Tells You That You Suck
Yup, THAT voice. The one that says you aren’t good enough or, who are you kidding, you can’t code you’re too old to learn this, or I’m never going to find a great job ever again. SUCH a waste of time, just stop, drop and ignore.
- Any Progress is Progress
I know and you know that the Compound Effect is real. Using weight loss as an example, even if you lose one pound a week, that’s 52 freaking lbs in a year and that is way better than 0. So if I apply to one role a day and review one concept in Rails Dev that has me stumped, I am golden.
- Teach To Learn
I have a friend who is in school learning IT security. Our “majors” are completely unrelated, but he comes over to help me learn by asking me about RoR and what I learned. I am able to explain the concepts to him clearly and answer his questions when he asks them. This is a gem of a lesson I have learned. In return, he gets to explain his crazy hacks of his iPhone to me. It’s fun and functional, and I like both of those things.
Wrapping up, what really matters is that when things are going super shitty, I swear to Goddess you are on the precipice of great things. I know this, and I am not going to let this real struggle tell me any differently.
So this post was super hard for me to write because I am a private struggler, but it does me NO good to struggle privately if it doesn’t help anyone else. Be kind to yourselves and ask for help when you need it.
Let me know if any of these steps to overcome struggle helped you and that would be the best gift ever.
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